Bastard Bijou:
Our Favorite Adoption Movies!

Contributed by Lissa Stolte, Cynthia Bertrand Holub, Cheryl Richmond, Teri Leber, Julie Dennis, Damsel Plum, H. Lowe, MaryAnne Cohen

 

Secrets and Lies (Mike Leigh, 1996) One of the most honest and accurate portrayals of search and reunion ever made, a rarity. I love the part where they are at Cynthia’s brother’s house for a birthday party and Hortense, Cynthia’s newly found birthdaughter, is pretending to be her birthmother’s chum from work. She goes into the bathroom to gather herself together because the whole situation is starting to weird her out, and while she is in there, Cynthia blurts out to the family that Hortense is in fact her daughter. Then Hortense walks out, and sits down without any idea of what just happened...and they are looking at her like she is from Mars. An important film in showing how adoptee access to personal records is the norm in Great Britain.

 

The Ten Commandments (Cecil B. DeMille, 1950) with Charlton Heston - the first and best adoption story.  Could it be though, that the 40 years in the desert were not because, as a man he refused to ask directions, but because of his trials and tribulations being an adoptee who had to travel with both of his mothers?  No wonder he climbed a mountain to talk to God.

 

Wuthering Heights (1939) I’ve been in love with Lawrence Olivier as Heathcliff since I was a little girl.  I felt he just needed the love of another “gypsy begger” Bastard to get him back on his feet.  When he comes back from the sea as a success and a Prince, he really puts those Legos to shame.

 

The Bad Seed (1956) starring a blonde pig-tailed Patty McCormack as Rhoda Penmark,  the serial-killer daughter of a Late-Discovery-Adoptee who has unwittingly passed on the tainted genes of her murderous birthmother. I especially like the cat-and-mouse game played between Rhoda and Leroy the janitor, and his horrified cry when he finally realizes she has actually committed the murders he has been taunting her with: “My God, you really did kill that little boy, didn’t you? You killed him with yer little shews!” (he has previously told her there are little blue and pink electric chairs for little boys and girls). Nancy Kelly is also noteworthy for her over-the-top acting: the scene in which she slowly pounds her head on the table as Rhoda hammers out Claire de Lune on the piano is most enjoyable.

 

Flirting with Disaster (1996), with Ben Stiller, Patricia Arquette, Alan Alda and Mary Tyler Moore is about an adoptee (Ben Stiller) who goes on a cross-country quest to find his birthmother. He decides to search when starting a family of his own. The movie makes it seem like it’s trivial to get one’s full adoption file from a U.S. adoption agency, which simply isn’t true.  On the other hand, it turns out the adoption agency gave him the wrong info (IMAGINE!) and comedy/tragedy ensues.

 

The Other Mother - one of the best portrayals of the agony that many birthmothers have to go through - not only in relinquishment when you are abandoned by everyone - but also the continued withholding of support in the search process.

 

Reno Finds Her Mom (HBO)- absolute best portrayal of the absurdity of closed records and the adoption machine.  Great mix of reality shots with “outtakes” showing her true reactions and responses to the inane actions of the small minded people that populated her search.

Tarzan (Disney, 1999)  Out on home video Feb. 15th, I was able to watch this with my five year old.  After the new adoptive mother ape brings foundling Tarzan home, the new adoptive ape Dad says to his uh...wife, “Well, you know he’ll never replace the one we lost....” At least apes are honest.  Disney’s apes that is...

 

Widow’s Peak (1994) with Mia Farrow. I love it because it is set in Ireland, it is witty, charming, and visually lovely, and because both the adoptee and birthmother get over on everyone else in the end. It does not hit you over the head with the adoption theme, but sneaks up on it, and the ending is a genuine surprise.

 

Steve Martin’s The Jerk (1979) just because it is so loony, and it points out how stupid lies about adoption are, in making the very white Martin a late discovery adoptee in a family of poor black sharecroppers.

 

Prince of Egypt (1998) because of Moses’s birthmom’s sad song.

South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut (1999) where Sheila Broslofski is trying to destroy all Canadians and Kyle asks her, “But what about the Canadian son you adopted?”

 

Election (1999) where one character tells his sister, “I love you even though you’re adopted.”

(This feature appeared in the Spring 2000 issue of the Bastard Quarterly.)

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