Book Reviews:

Book Reviews:

Ethics in American Adoption

by L. Anne Babb,

Bergin & Garvey, 1999

(ISBN: 0-89789-538-X)

Reviewed by Lesli LaRocco

Those of us involved in adoption, whether adoptees, birthparents, or adoptive

parents, have likely heard a horror story or two—or more concerning adoption

practices. The anecdotal evidence is abundant, but, especially for those of us who

hear those stories online, the sources are virtual strangers. We have little basis for

judging how the problems developed, or how widespread they are.

L. Anne Babb captures our attention with tragic stories of adoptions gone wrong.

In these accounts, adoptive parents, birthparents, and adoptees all suffer from so-

called professionals’ ethical lapses, poor judgment, and the lack of accountability

rampant in American adoption practices. To understand how such a situation came about,

Ms. Babb explores value systems and how they have applied historically to

adoption. Social custom, a history of how we as a nation view children and their

rights, and a discussion of how these influence the views of all the participants in

an adoption illustrate how sentiment can be co-opted by paternalism and,

ultimately, material interests. The Orphan Trains of the last century, for example,

may have come about for sentimental reasons—to give poor urban orphans a

chance at a new life—but, in practice, many placements were less likely to help

children than benefit to farm families needing cheap labor.

Ms. Babb goes on to explore ethics in adoption today, by reporting the results of a

survey of 75 organizations, 50 of which were state licensors of adoption agencies

and 25 of which were adoption- or child welfare-related organizations or

associations. Two failed to respond to the survey (the National Council for

Adoption and The Institute for Black Parenting). The questions probe agencies’

standards concerning who may be considered an adoptive parent, who is the client,

what fees may be charged and of whom, revocations periods, best interest of the

child standards, and confidentiality.

Once the problems are identified, Ms. Babb creates a framework for change within

adoption practice. Responsibility, integrity, diligence, confidentiality,

communication, objectivity and independence, fees, and contractual relationships

are cornerstones of the ethical framework.

Finally, Ms. Babb addresses the challenges to change in the profession, focusing

on the conflicting interests and financial aspects of adoption. The lack of regulation

is a challenge she discusses in depth, and suggests professional certification as

part of the solution.

Bastard Nationals know that there are problems with adoption practice today. In

Ethics in American Adoption, L. Anne Babb takes on the entire adoption industry,

not in a mean-spirited show of indignation (however well-deserved that might be),

but in a clear, well-researched book that shows the real problems and the real

effects of poor practices and standards. Adoption can be a benefit to all

involved—but good intentions and sentiment are more likely to harm than help.

Good practices, an ethical framework, and accountability are a great deal more

important to L. Anne Babb. As well they should be.

Lesli LaRocco, a Late-Discovery Adpoptee, is a founding member of Bastard Nation,
our NorthEast Regional Director and Administrator of the BEST email list.

The Kid: What happened after my boyfriend and I decided to go get pregnant:

An adoption story

by Dan Savage

Dutton Books, Penguin Group, New York, 1999

Reviewed by Anita Field

If you don't know anything about Dan Savage, then you're in for a shock, as

I was, when I picked up this book. I didn't know that Dan was a nationally

syndicated, gay columnist and that his outrageous humor and extremely frank

comments are his trademark. I had never read the "sex advice" column "Savage Love"

which is carried by 28 newspapers around the country.

I'm not a slow learner, though; I very quickly ascertained that Dan Savage's

material is not for the faint of heart. Everything and anything goes. So I

wondered what on earth this guy could say about adoption, of all things.

Dan Savage seems so irreverent about adoption, and everything else for that

matter, that at first I had the feeling I was "being put on." Maybe this was

a piece of satire and I just "wasn't getting it."

Irreverence may be Dan Savage's style, but this is no satire. It's a poignant

account of how Dan and his boyfriend, Terry, became the adoptive parents of

a healthy white infant.

Although they live in Seattle, Dan and Terry sign on with an adoption agency

in Portland, Oregon; an agency that only facilitates open adoptions and

better yet - accepts gay couples. First, though, all prospective adoptive

parents must wade through very thorough screening procedures by the agency.

If accepted, they are put into a "pool" from which birthmothers select their

parents.

I kept thinking about that pool. With all those affluent, heterosexual,

white, stay-at-home moms and doctor-dads floating on top, what birthmother in

her right mind is going to fish out a couple of fags to parent her child?

Melissa, a 17 year old girl who lives on the streets and begs for change,

that's who. Don and Terry were her third choice, but never mind. The

relationship that grows between the three of them is at the heart of this

rather incredible tale.

Here's what turned the tide for me:

"But to see Melissa's pain at the moment she gave up that baby, and to feel

pain ourselves at that same moment, drove home the logic of open adoption,

its absolute necessity.

"In a closed adoption, we wouldn't have witnessed the moment our son's

mother gave him up. That we saw what we did, however painful, is to the

ultimate benefit of the kid in the car seat. The idea of starting off as his

parents without experiencing what we did was suddenly unimaginable. One day,

D.J. may worry that his mother didn't want him, that she didn't care about

him, that she didn't love him. Because of open adoption, we'll be able to

sit him down and tell him about this day; we'll be able to describe the

moment Melissa gave him to us, and how hard it was for her. We won't have to

guess at what it was like, or tell him that we're sure his mother loved him.

We know she loved him; we saw it."

What more could you ask for?!

Anita Field is Bastard Nation's Illinois State Director. She is a retired teacher and librarian
who successfully petitioned the courts in IL to open her records.

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(This feature appeared in the Summer 2000 issue of the Bastard Quarterly.)