The Face in the Mirror: Teenagers and Adoption

by Marion Crook

Arsenal Pulp Press (www.arsenalpulp.com), Vancouver, 2000, 154pp
ISBN 155152-079-6

Reviewed by Natalie Proctor Servant
(nsprocto@magma.ca)

"The Face in the Mirror" is billed as discussing "the issues surrounding adoption, and in particular what everyone involved should know when adopted teens want to discover their past." It meets that goal, and surpasses it.

This relatively short and easy-to-read book roams from the history of adoption over the last few centuries to teens' perceptions of adoption, to adoptive parents' reasons for adoption, and finishes up by dealing with search and reunion issues. Interspersed throughout the book are anecdotes and first person narratives from adopted teens, birth parents, and adoptive parents. The book also has search suggestions and includes a list of useful web sites.

Even though it is short, the author, an adoptive mother, makes no attempt to censor out the ugly side of families and relationships. There are "perfect" adoptive families, but there are also stories which include deception, sexual abuse, rejection, and suicide. Although the author and the teens she interviews are Canadian, the book also covers the status of adoption in the US. It also discusses countries with open records and the growing trend towards more open records.

At times, however, I felt that the author still doesn't quite "get it." The sentence that irritated me the most was when she mentioned what information adopted teens gave her: "They also give their ethnic origin, 'I'm Russian, actually,' as if it was a label that established their identity." Well duh! Or that was my reaction, anyway. I guess it just rubbed me the wrong way! I've only recently determined/confirmed my ethnic origins, and that information happens to mean a lot to me.

Even the word "bastard" makes an appearance in the book. Unfortunately, the use isn't in reference to Bastard Nation; it's an adoptee recalling being called a bastard. Close, but no cigar!

What I liked the most about this book is the sheer effort that Marion Crook has put into trying to understand how teens feel about adoption. For this reason, I highly recommend this book for adoptive parents of teens. It's got quite a comprehensive coverage of a number of touchy adoption issues and the author sets a great example with her willingness to learn. I also think that teens would find "The Face in the Mirror" useful, mostly for the chance to hear such a wide variety of voices of their peers speaking about adoption. For those inspired by this book to learn more, the bibliography includes a number of pointers to well-known books in the field.

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