Need a Penny?, Inc., manufacturer of change baskets for use at retail counters, has long been devoted to convenience and public service.
The widespread success of our product has encouraged us to engage in charitiable enterprises, particularly if they are in line with our tradition of convenience and public service.
Need a Penny?, Inc. is therefore pleased to announce that we will be supplying to convenience stores, free of charge, baby baskets. These baskets will be cheerfully emblazoned with the slogan:
“Need a baby? Take a baby!
Have a baby? Leave a baby!”
The Quik-E-Mart chain will be our partner in this endeavor. They will be installing intercoms in their dumpsters. When employees take out the store's trash, if they hear crying on the monitor, they will bring the child inside and place it in our drawer.
We hope the program will be a great success.
Dr. A. Lincoln Pierce
VP, Public Relations,
Need a Penny?, Inc.
(This feature appeared in the Summer 2002 issue of the Bastard Quarterly.)
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