THE ADOPTED BASTARD FISH by Jack Sweeley

THE ADOPTED BASTARD FISH
by John Sweeley, M.A., M.Ed., D.D.

(This feature first appeared in the Winter 1999 issue of the Bastard Quarterly.)

(This piece, reminiscent of the children's book "The Rainbow Fish", was actually inspired by a
conversation with adoptee/birthmother Debbie Keegan in which she said she was proud that she
had one to throw back into the pond.)

I am a Bastard Fish.

I was spawned without "Benefit of Clergy" and never knew my real identity.
I was caught by my adoptive parents and placed in their tank so that they and their
friends and relatives could see me shimmer and shine. You see my scales were bright gold and
reflected brilliant bands of golden sunlight throughout the tank. But then I started to ask
questions. Questions like, "Who am I?", "What did I do wrong?", "Why was I given away?", and
"Where is my original birth certificate?" It was then that I noticed my scales began to dim, my
adoptive parents didn't want to look at me anymore, and their friends stopped coming over to
admire me. I didn't understand what was happening and in a desperate attempt to find the truth, I
demanded my original birth certificate. The tank became very dim and I realized my bright
golden scales had turned into pale mustard colored imitations of themselves. In disgust, my
adoptive parents scooped me up and flushed me down the toilet.

As I slid through the sewer pipe I began to see a bright light. I followed the light and heard the
melodious murmur of uncountable Bastard Fish singing to me.

"Come home, come home little Bastard Fish! Come home to our Bastard Nation."

It was then that my eyes were opened and I could see clearly for the first time. All around me were
Bastard Fish and I knew who they were: some were sharks, some were rainbow trout, some were
sailfish, and some were bottom feeders.

It was then that I saw another group of fish with black, ulcerated, and flaking scales floundering
this way and that in agony. At first I couldn't recognize them but slowly realized they were also
Bastard Fish. But what had happened to them? They carried signs saying, "I am not a Bastard
Fish" and "NCFA Forever." Then I understood. They were Bastard Fish who had denied their
bastardy and could never shine again.

I was now surrounded by multitudinous Bastard Fish with bright golden scales. As they 1ifted
me high in welcome, I looked down at myself and in amazement, saw that my bright golden
iridescently brilliant scales had returned. And then the most miraculous thing happened. As I
looked into the eyes of the Bastard Fish of Bastard Nation for the first time, I really knew who I
was. I am a Bastard fish!

John Sweeley is an adoptee and the adoptive father of three sons. He is also a theologian
and the author of "Jesus in the Gospels: Man, Myth, or God" to be released by International
Scholars Publications in May 1999. His next book is "Adoption: The Case for Open Records."

(This feature first appeared in the Winter 1999 issue of the Bastard Quarterly.)