Now it's time for the Bass Turd Nation Manifesto...

1. All members must have at some time been treated akin to fish crap.

2. Anybody can have access to my birth records as long as they are willing to sift through all the Bass Turd that the government has buried them in.

3. We think bass fishermen would make wonderful intermediaries.

4. Anyone ignorant enough to call us "whiny ungrateful adoptees" should be politely corrected: We are large-mouthed bass turds.

5. Registry info can be posted every day on the cable fishing channel

6. Identifying information will include your weight, length, species, classification and whether or not you were adopted "in season" and spawned upstream or down.

7. All prospective adoptive parents must have a current freshwater fishing license.

8. Fish and Game Warden: Who else? Celesta, of course!

Mari Steed
One Fishy Bastard