Reconnection with previously unknown biological relatives, often called "reunion" in the traditional adoption reform movement, is a tricky business for Bastards.

Every Bastard and adoptee has his own reason for wanting (or not wanting) some sort of reconnection. Some have medical and family background information as their prime motivators. Others feel obligated to let their birthmother know that "I'm ok." Others long to see and know people related to them by blood. Still others fear any kind of reconnection. The fear of adoptive and biological parents' possible negative reactions is usually the cause of such fear.

Regardless of whether one decides to search and reconnect, as adult citizens we must be afforded the same freedom of association granted all other adults. Educate yourself on the laws that discriminate against adopted citizens before embarking on your search. Visit the Adoptee Web Library for details on how to start your search.

About Reconnection

A Birthmother's Warning Think reunion's going to be all hunky-dory, do you? Well, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Check out Amy Bredes's Preparation Before Contact if you want to get an idea of some of the emotional baggage biomoms might be carrying around. Don't say we didn't warn you!

First Contact: You Have Options by Denise Castellucci. How to make first contact via phone, letter or third party. Links to other reconnection resources.

Making Contact After the Search By Curry Wolfe. Guidelines from a birthmother/BN supporter.