Paula Ross:

We call ourselves Bastards because the State wants us to believe we didn't exist until we were placed in our adoptive homes. That we were not born, but invented. We take the term Bastard as a way to accept that we were 'real' before we were placed. That we WERE Bastards, born to unmarried women. It's just our way of refusing to accept the cover up, that's all.

Deru McCannon:

Bastard Nation is an autonomous interpersonal human relations network serving as a conduit for information exchange, team project management, and mutual support and assistance between biologically displaced human resource units.

Deru
Bastard Nation
Exploding Catfish Dept.

Mary C. L'Ecuyer (rambojr@gti.net) wrote:
Hi all,
Since I am new to this forum, I have but a few questions,
1)what is bastard nation??
2)why is there so much anger about adoption???

Jonathan Heilman responded:
As (I think) the newest member of BN, let me try... (I know you'll all be ready to jump in)

"Bastard" is a term in our society with the true double entendre: in it "technical" definition, a bastard is a person conceived and/or born out of wedlock; most adoptees are bastards in this sense.

Beyond this, bastard is a more derogatory term. One can bastardize a term by mispronouncing it, bastardize an idea by twisting it out of context, and so on to identify that making something "bastard" is to make it devoid of or contrary to original and "normal" intent. We are just that in society's eyes, a marked group. Though some others may not know we are bastards, our adopters do. We always hear it: some get called bastards, others are told that they should be grateful, some undergo physical, mental, emotional, or sexual abuse. Females are often accused of being sluts "just like their mothers" Males don't count as "really" passing on the family name, and somewhere in the backs (or forefront) of their heads, our adopters feel themselves to be saviors from the tragic life we would have led.

Even those adoptees who were not per se bastards are cut off from their families' genetic history. To the person whose history and culture has been *bastardized*, every event rings somewhat hollow. Your power is stripped; you are following another's spiritual roadmap, but your name, your blood, isn't there. To this day, I wonder why I was put up. Was I dumped as excess baggage? Did my bmom care? Is she searching for me, too? Is she afraid of what I'll say? Is this all my fault? Some of the questions are irrational, but they exist. In addition to the spiritual/emotional questions, there are physical ones as well. I will always wonder if I am a walking angioplasty, if I should be more careful aerobically, if mental illness or terminal disease runs through my family. Am I a timebomb, passing on a genetic illness to my children or grandchildren? In Mary Shelly's book, Frankenstein, the monster finds Dr. Frankenstein and asks him 'Who are the parts of my body from? Am I made of criminals? Geniuses? What are my origins?' All the Doctor can refer to is "raw materials" His monster is a Bastard, and every Bastard can feel that pain until their search comes to an end, regardless of the happiness of the reunion.

And so we search. every document we find, every person we talk to, every form we fill out, every hour we spend poring over old records is a reminder that we are not people with a history. We have been a chattel question for too long, and it is best that we leave bad enough alone. Society expects us to ignore the need to know our raw materials, and wishes to ignore us as well. They think that we should be ashamed of our Bastard status, and crawl into our adopted cubbyholes and be thankful that we've got what is in front of us. When societies try to make the underclass just disappear, that is when they are backed into a corner together - and the Bastard Nation is formed.

Bastard Nation represents a portion of that ugliness in the world. It reminds people that teens get pregnant, that Bastards exist, that by closing their eyes we don't go away. Racists don't call a black men niggers on the street anymore, but they still do in their clubs, bars, porches, pool halls, and "social group" meetings. The public is uncomfortable about that word just as they are uncomfortable about the word bastard - it is something they say in their heads and in small circles. Being a Bastard, though, is not like being black. There are no physical marks. We get to see the whole story unfold in front of us. Bastard Nation throws this in the face of a society that closes its eyes to things improper and walks past an unattractive bum a term that they created. Our monster demands an answer.

Jonathan
Bastard Nation
Ministry of Poor Rhetoric

What I like about "Bastard Nation" is that it allows those of us born out of wedlock to challenge the societal assumption that we should be ashamed of our backgrounds. I'm a bastard, born to a woman who was neglected and abused as a child by two alcoholic would-be socialites. She survived. I survived. We have nothing to be ashamed of.

For Mother's Day I tried to use a Hallmark Create-A-Card to make a card which read "Happy Mother's Day, Birthmother, from the Luckiest Bastard in the World". I had to substitute an 8 for the capitol-B in Bastard because the machine wouldn't let me use that word (so much for "freedom of speech"). Society chooses to look down on bastards, when in fact the word is merely a technical term for a person born out of wedlock. Why should I be ashamed? I had no control over my birth, OR my adoption.

But societal shame is one of the tools (along with twisted "family loyalty" messages) which are used to keep adoption records closed and us in "our place."

Bastards of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your shame!

In 4nhsgc$ph8@nntp.onramp.net ***mpbray@onramp.net (Mack P. Bray) writes:
***Actually, I've received quite a few email responses to my original post. And I've decided I don't live in a "Bastard Nation", nor would I ever visit one.***

Damsel Plum:
You live in one whether you like it or not. Bastard Nation is a nation that denies adoptees their birth records, medical histories, the identity of one's biological parents and sometimes even knowledge of the fact that we were adopted. Do you know how many people have posted here who found out by accident as adults that they were adopted?

***The use of the term "bastard" is incredibly offensive to me.

That's the point. It is offensive. It's offensive to be eternally infantilized by a legal system that thinks adults should not have access to the most basic information about themselves. It's offensive to have to hear and read the erroneous allegation that adoptees are especially prone to criminal activity, promiscuity and violence. It's offensive to have to hear that we should be grateful we weren't aborted. It's offensive to hear that we should be grateful we weren't raised by our unfit birthmothers. It's offensive to hear that our birthmothers didn't (and don't) really care about us; that they don't want to be bothered by us now. It's all very offensive.

***Children that are born out of wedlock may or may not be considered "bastards," and if they *are* considered "bastards" by some people, no one can deny that, at the moment of adoption, they then *do* have parents in every sense of the word, spiritually, morally and legally, and thereby cease being "bastards." Therefore, for an adoptee to consider his/herself a "bastard," after the point of adoption, is redundant and moot, and, in my opinion, is in poor taste.

It's not about having parents. It's not about having good taste. It's about seeing the system for what it is and saying it's shit. Hopefully we'll get together and do something about it. The members of Bastard Nation may not all have the same views on many subjects, but we all agree that records should be open to adults and that we don't have to feel grateful for being alive. Do you get it now?

Another Adoptee
Bastard Nation
Dept. of Public Education

SS: "Ungrateful Bastard"

When I first started writing here alt.adoption was full of whiny doltish unfocused adoptees who molly coddled namby-pamby birthmothers all under the critical eye of asshole aparents. Today Bastard Nation is the call to arms. Birthmothers and aparents now know this subject (adoption) is about us and are at least tolerating our pounding of the drum, if not actually starting to see the terrible injustices of the closed adoption system, and further are witnessing the end of that system and the ushering in of equality and dignity for adoptees.

In celebration, I've decided to re-post some of my more memorable musings. And, what other post would be more appropriate to start with than the *shaker* that set off a virtual fire storm of controversy, not to mention a record number of pitched responses. Funny, the most common of which was denial that we were called any of these things. Then one by one we started to realize we had felt the prejudice, and had indeed been treated differently.

I remember the moment I pushed the send button on what now looks like a rather moderate post; I felt like I was nuking aa.

BASTARDS!!!

Society calls adoptees illegitimate, fatherless, unnatural, baseborn, misbegotten, falseborn, lovechildren, scoundrels, blackguards, and rascals. If you ain't an adoptee, you're guilty, you son-of-a-bitch ... whoops I slipped. And, do you know why you are called all these scurrilous names? You wouldn't give away a sack of GOLD would you? Since you are worth less as a human being your birthmother has an easier time of relinquishing you, because you're less than human you can be handled like a commodity, and furthermore stripped of your constitutional right not to be bound by a contract you weren't a part of as an adult. Since that's not enough, you go to your adoptive family who tries to hide the fact that they were willing to take ...uh one of the above, to further conceal their infertility which they are even more defensive about. Thus begins the classic abusive dependent relationship. (And, everyone expects YOU to be normal... yeesh!)

Why you adoptees continue to banter about with these assholes (birth and adopted parents) is beyond belief! Like I've said before, even under the best circumstances these people are part of the problem. (I'm not talking about adopting orphans etc. I'm talking about classic closed adoptions which for all you politically correct wimps still happens to be the way this number is done in this country.)

Since I'm a slave to this institution, I don't speak well of it, don't converse with the keepers, or standard bearers. If you're an aparent of a child relinquished through a closed adoption help that kid GET whatever information he/she wants. My adad pledged his estate to help me identify my birthparents (mom was not quite as supportive). Advice: If you're thinking about adopting; don't take part in closed adoptions, or you may have to look into an adult's face one day and explain why you were more concerned with your selfish pursuits than his/her very essence.

SS
The First Bastard
Bastard Nation

***Mack P. Bray wrote:
%%deerwatson@aol.com (DeerWatson) wrote:

***Hi,
***I'm new to alt.adoption and have seen "Bastard Nation" in several people sigs. Will someone please tell me what "Bastard Nation" is? Thanks... ***

%%No, sorry....if you are an adoptee...you are not grateful enough and if you are a birthmother..you caused this whole mess.. and if you are an adoptive parent...you stole your child! So...no info for you %%

Leigh wrote:
If you would read a little more you would figure out that what she said is an example of the *problem* with closed adoption (in the extreme)....I really shouldn't have to tell you that.

***Actually, I've received quite a few email responses to my original post. And I've decided I don't live in a "Bastard Nation", nor would I ever visit one.

I have got to say that in the time I have been here, someone new to the ng inevitably asks...What is Bastard Nation? Already showing that they have no clue what a searching adoptee feels when they are confronted with the ignorant bureaucracy that tells you that you have no right to know the most basic facts of who you are.

*** The use of the term "bastard" is incredibly offensive to me.

What I have seen next is that they don't like the answer...so they tell everyone that they think it's tasteless. It is obvious that you are limited by the social stigma placed on the word bastard. It means to be born out of wedlock..or from unknown origin...excuse me but...this is true for me...at least it was until I was reunited.

***Children that are born out of wedlock may or may not be considered "bastards," and if they *are* considered "bastards" by some people, no one can deny that, at the moment of adoption, they then *do* have parents in every sense of the word, spiritually, morally and legally, and thereby cease being "bastards." ***

I really don't get the comment that adoptees aren't bastards in the spiritual sense...What the heck are you talking about??? Like some statement that we're all children of god?... or is it that you think amom somehow gave birth to me in a "spiritual" sense. I also think that the legality of it is ridiculous. I have said this before and I'll say it again..you can sign millions of documents saying that my aparents are my legal parents BUT that does not change what's in my blood. Nothing will ever change that...NOTHING. Nothing can change the fact that my biological parents were not married at the time of my birth.

"Poor Taste"....here we go again....actually, the first time I heard the word I asked my amom what it meant, she told me that it was a child born out of wedlock....I responded...That's what I was...needless to say she could not deny that it was true.

Now with that being said...really he most important part to the name BASTARD NATION to *me* is not the idea of being born out of wedlock anyway. It is the fact that I have no idea of my origins...which is another part of the definition of the word. You cannot deny that adoptees who are subject to the conditions of a closed adoption are of unknown origins.....and don't tell me that the stupid paragraph called my non-identifying information that I rec'd cleared that all up. Yeah, like I couldn't guess that my bmom was my height with my eye and hair color. Anyone who looks at me can tell I'm Irish. Gee Wiz...I guess I know a whole lot, huh? GIVE ME A BREAK!

BTW, just so that you don't think I'm some pissed off adoptee who has some horror story of a childhood or reunion....I have a fantastic family...both sides (in case you don't know that means: adoptive and birth families) and I am not anti-adoption...just anti-closed records. Anti the stigma attached to want to have the same rights as any other non-adopted individual in this world. Using the word BASTARD is a means for me to remove some of that stigma.

Leigh
Bastard Nation
Clueless Souls~FAQ division

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