OUT OF THE JAR: SOUTHERN RECIPES RELEASED BY ALABASTER LEGISLATURE.

The flag of the sovereign State of Alabaster.

Alabaster, Mustard Nation. June, 2000.

In a welcome prelude to the final act of the original recipe dispute to be played out in Oregano on May 30, 2000, the Alabaster legislature adopted legislation giving Mustard Nationals access to original recipes created and ultimately concealed in that state over the past 40-plus years.

Details of the legislation were fuzzy to this reporter, but one more than half-hearted supporter of the legislation promised that all soon would become clear. Writing from his home on the wet coast, the unnamed gentleman ansard those who questioned the legitimacy of the act by stating that last minute amendments of the bill had made it impossible to place a complete and accurate copy of the bill on-line. "You're probably too thick to understand it yourself, anyway.", he told this reporter.

Foes of Mustard Nation were slow to comment. Asked if this law would be challenged in the courts, as have been laws enacted in Oregano and Canisee in recent years, Wilhelm Pierz stated that "we'll have to see what the budget is and whether I still have a job after this." Mr. Pierz is the once-and-future retired spokesperson for the National Conscience on Forgotten Affairs. He recently emerged from retirement for what he characterized as a "need to protect my Legacy." He did not say what relationship his car might have to the subject or why he drove a foreign model. Critics who preferred to remain anonymous said that Mr. Pierz has a habit of making arguments unrelated to the subject at hand and may have carried that habit over to this interview.

For more on the national groundswell in support of the release of original recipes, see "Blowout:Oregano's Seasoned Victory!"

HOME