"The records you requested are currently stored in boxes which have been used to build walls in our office. Files drawers stand on either side of these walls and cannot be moved, therefore, we cannot grant your request at this time." TRUE STORY! ."

- Cheri Freeman

"Due to the considerable amount of time which has passed, we no longer have your records. We just don't keep older things." (ACTUAL EXCUSE!)

- Mari Steed

"This was actually said to me: "Well I'm an adoptive mother and I KNOW you won't need those records, there's nothing in those records that you need to know or that can do you any good."

- S. Summer